5 Things I Wish I Knew at 20

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Hey there,

I’ve been alive 12,418 days, and maybe had my life together for about 1,461 of them.

My twenties were a glorious disaster.

I ping-ponged between ideas, drank too much, made reckless choices, and somehow survived.

And while I don’t regret the chaos, there are a few lessons I wish I could’ve whispered to myself at 20.

Consider this a love letter to a younger me—or to you, if you’re still figuring it out.

First, take responsibility. 

Back then, anger ran the show. I got into fights, used football and boxing as outlets, and projected my insecurities everywhere.

Holocaust survivor and psychologist Viktor Frankl once said, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.”

I didn’t get that memo until much later.

Nobody’s coming to save you—own your choices, your emotions, your mess.

It’s the foundation for everything else.

Second, confidence comes from doing, not reading. 

I devoured books in college, but none of them compared to the growth that came from actually trying things.

Writing, interviewing, parenting—it’s all reps.

Progress is invisible at first, but if you look back after two years, the change is undeniable.

If you cringe at your old work, good—that’s proof you’re leveling up.

Third, document more.

Not the polished Instagram reel-version, but the messy, in-between moments.

I wish I’d captured more of my early struggles, bad ideas, and small wins. Even boring home videos become priceless over time.

These days, I quietly stash raw memories in Google Drive—no pressure to post, just little time capsules for me, my wife, and our daughter.

Life moves too fast not to bottle some of it.

Fourth, go on more dates.

After a long-term breakup at 24, I hid behind excuses and anxiety.

What if it was awkward? What if she didn’t like me? What if people noticed I was on a blind date?

Eventually, I signed up for Match.com, stumbled through some flops, and then met Mel—the best swipe of my life.

You grow by putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. So forget what people think. Put yourself out there.

Finally, travel now. 

I didn’t leave the country again after 15 until I was 28. That first trip to Puerto Rico cracked me open.

Ambition had kept me grinding, head down, missing life. I always told myself it wasn’t the right time.

The truth, is it never feels like the right time.

Book the flight. It’s cheaper than you think and teaches you more than you expect.

Like confidence, it builds by doing.

I could list a hundred things I’d do differently at 20, but these five alone would’ve saved me from 95% of the unnecessary anguish of trying to “figure out how to human.”

Have a wonderful week, all.
Stop waiting for the perfect time - Scott (@motivatedscott).

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