The Pressure To Have An Opinion About Everything

Hey there,

Everyone wants to know what you think.

Not just about big things, but about everything.

What you believe, what and who you support.

What you’re against, what you’re “okay with”, and what you’re “not okay with.”

Silence doesn’t really exist anymore, because it gets interpreted.

If you don’t respond, people assume you’re hiding.

If you don’t comment, they assume you’re complicit.

If you say “I don’t know,” it sounds suspicious.

Somehow, not having an opinion has become an opinion.

And not choosing a side feels like choosing the wrong one.

This didn’t happen all at once. It just crept in.

Little by little, everything turned into a test.

Not a conversation, not a curiosity.

A test.

Who you vote for.

What you drive.

What you eat.

Where you shop.

Which brand of phone you use.

Even which way you put the toilet paper on the holder.

Everything signals something and everything means something.

And if it doesn’t, people are happy to fill in the blanks.

What’s exhausting isn’t disagreement, it’s the constant requirement to decide.

The need to react, pick, explain, or justify.

A lot of the pressure to “pick a side” isn’t really about changing the world.

It’s more about making other people feel less alone in their position.

Agreement has become emotional validation, while disagreement feels like a threat.

And neutrality feels like betrayal.

What’s wild is how little of this actually affects our lives.

We’ll spend hours forming strong opinions about things that have zero impact on how we spend our day.

But somehow still can’t decide what to eat for dinner.

Or whether we actually like our job.

Or if the relationship we’re in is making us better or smaller.

We’ll argue fiercely about abstract ideas, while avoiding the concrete decisions that would actually change our lives.

And I don’t say this from some “enlightened mountaintop”.

I say this as someone who’s fallen into it.

I’ve caught myself forming opinions just to feel current, like if I didn’t have a take, I was behind.

There’s something seductive about having a take.

It feels like participation and intelligence, even when you’re not actually doing anything.

The real cost isn’t that we’re wrong sometimes, it’s that we’re tired.

Forming opinions takes energy. Defending them takes more.

And when you’re expected to have one about everything, your energy gets spread thin.

Everything feels important, so nothing really is.

We’ve confused having opinions with having values.

Values guide how you lives. Opinions mostly guide how you argue.

Values show up in your habits, your relationships, and how you treat people when no one’s watching.

Opinions show up in comment sections and group chats.

One requires commitment, while the other just requires a reaction.

Reacting is easy. It’s fast.

Living by your values is slower, quieter, and much less impressive.

Somewhere along the way, not having an opinion stopped being neutral and started being suspicious.

But most things don’t need your opinion.

They need your discernment.

Here’s the relief most people don’t realize they’re allowed to feel:

You don’t owe the world an opinion about everything.

You’re allowed to not know.

You’re allowed to still be thinking.

You’re allowed to care selectively.

A lot of the calm we’re looking for doesn’t come from better answers.

It comes from fewer demands.

From asking:

“Does this actually touch my life?”

“Does this change how I live?”

“Does this deserve my attention, or just my reaction?”

Because when you stop spending your energy on every external debate, you suddenly have more of it for the things that matter.

The irony is that the people who actually live by strong values often look quieter from the outside.

Not because they don’t care, but because they’re too busy doing something about it.

So if you’ve been feeling exhausted lately, like everything demands a response, that doesn’t mean you’re disengaged.

It means you’re overloaded.

And choosing not to participate in every conversation might be the most intentional thing you do all week.

You don’t need to have an opinion about everything.

You need a few values you’re willing to live by.

Quietly. Consistently. Without applause.

– Scott

P.S. Get more stuff from me (so my wife doesn’t make me go back to a “real” job):

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