Why You Don’t Trust Yourself Anymore

Hey there,

There was a time when making decisions felt simpler.

You wanted something, so you did it…

You didn’t run it through five group chats.

You didn’t check reviews.

You didn’t wonder if an algorithm would approve.

You didn't ask ChatGPT.

You just trusted yourself and moved on.

But lately, that feels rare.

Personally, I’ll be halfway through a decision, something small, something I’ve done a hundred times before, and suddenly I’m second-guessing it.

Not because I’m unsure, but because I’ve been trained to check.

Check what other people think, what the “experts” say, or whether there’s a better framework, a smarter approach, a more optimal option.

It’s like my instinct isn’t gone, it’s just been demoted.

And the weird part is, the more information we have, the less confident we feel using it.

We don’t trust our gut anymore.

We trust confirmation, consensus, five stars, or someone else saying, “Yeah, that’s the right call.”

Even when we already know what we want.

And this isn’t because we’re incapable, or indecisive, or dumb.

(I mean… it could be. I don’t know you personally.)

But statistically speaking, that’s probably not it.

We stopped believing that we were allowed to decide things without external approval.

Notice how often this shows up:

You check reviews for things you already like.

You ask for opinions after you’ve made up your mind.

You second-guess choices that felt fine five minutes ago.

Not because the decision was wrong, but because you didn’t get ‘permission’.

We’re not paralyzed by information overload, we’ve just decided to outsource all of our decisions.

We didn’t lose self-trust because we don’t know enough.

We lost it because we stopped practicing making decisions without backup.

Every time we defer to an algorithm, a review, a guru, or a well-meaning friend, we reinforce the same quiet belief:

“I’m not enough on my own.”

At first, it feels responsible.

Thoughtful, mature.

But over time, it creates friction.

Now every decision carries weight.

What if I choose wrong? What if I regret it?

So instead of acting, we hesitate.

Instead of trusting, we wait.

Waiting feels safe, until it becomes paralyzing.

I notice this most in moments where I already know the answer.

The boring answers, the obvious ones.

Go to bed earlier. Stop checking my phone first thing. Do less instead of optimizing more.

Those answers don’t feel exciting.

They don’t come with a dopamine hit, so my brain goes looking for something sharper.

That’s when I realized I wasn’t lacking clarity. I was avoiding responsibility.

Because clarity is passive, while decision-making isn’t.

When I was a kid, my mom used to say, “Always go with your gut. It’s never wrong.”

I don’t think that meant your instincts are magically correct.

Your gut isn’t always right, but it’s honest.

And honesty is how you learn.

You don’t build self-trust by waiting for perfect information.

You build it by acting and adjusting.

Imperfect action beats endless deliberation.

Self-trust isn’t something you think your way into, it’s something you practice.

It’s built by making decisions, surviving them, and realizing you’re still okay.

When every choice needs external validation, the muscle weakens because you stopped using it.

This is why so many people feel stuck while doing everything “right.”

They’re informed and thoughtful, but hesitant.

Because every move feels like it carries too much consequence.

Rebuilding self-trust doesn’t start with a system, it starts with making small decisions without asking for permission.

Letting yourself choose, act, and be wrong.

Because being wrong isn’t what breaks self-trust.

Avoiding decisions does.

One question that’s helped me:

“Do I actually not know, or am I just uncomfortable owning this?”

Self-trust doesn’t come from confidence hacks, it comes from keeping small promises to yourself.

Decide. Act. Learn. Repeat.

If you do that enough, something changes.

You stop needing approval or asking permission.

So if you’ve been second-guessing yourself lately, nothing is wrong with you.

You haven’t lost your instincts, you’ve just been outsourcing them.

And the good news is, you can take them back, one imperfect decision at a time.

Trust your gut. It’s probably right.

– Scott

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